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Bulletin!

May 28, 2008 - Eric Paddock
I interrupt this blog to bring you this special bulletin from those in our society who see things that aren’t there.

I have been acquainted with a few people who see things that aren’t there. Generally, a regimen of therapy and medication takes care of the situation.

I will fully admit that it is a stretch to delve into the world of politics in a blog devoted to food, but my hand has been forced by one of the Fox News (I prefer “Faux News”) shrews who this week ran out of ways to malign moderates, liberals and other questioners of the radical Right and turned her attention to a Dunkin’ Donuts television ad.

The ad features Rachel Ray, the wildly popular kitchen diva of The Food Network who was touting DD’s coffee.

But wait! What is that draped around her neck? A scarf! But not just any scarf. Let’s get out our magnifying glasses and put our imaginations to work here. That could very well be a keffiyeh! For the uninformed a keffiyeh is a traditional Arab scarf usually worn by men.

Did you know that some Arab men who wear a keffiyeh are terrorists? Of course, more Arabs who wear keffiyehs aren’t terrorists, but don’t confuse us here; Michelle and some of her right-wing blogging cronies are on a roll.

They raised an Internet stink. At first DD read the blogs and said to its corporate self: “You’ve got to be kidding.”

Unfortunately, like many urban myths and blog-perpetuated hysteria, this one had the potential to cut into profits. Some of the cyberwacks were even talking about organizing a boycott. Dunkin’ Donuts pulled the ad.

Now, I like Rachel Ray. Sure, she can be a bit hyperkinetic at times, but generally her recipes for quick meals work for me. My family has enjoyed many of them.

I looked up the offending ad on the Net, looked at the scarf in question and tested my reaction to see if my subconscience would persuade me to run through the roof screaming “Jihad!”

It didn’t.

But Michelle Malkin, who has morphed from political commentator -- make that, accuser -- to fashion policewoman, claims that Ms. Ray’s accessorizing is promoting the cause of violent Islamofascism, whether Ray knows it or not.

It caused me to examine my own life in more detail.

Yes. I am now ashamed to say that I have eaten couscous...and enjoyed it. Did you know that some Arab terrorists also eat couscous? And lamb and hummus!

Michelle, save my poor, misguided soul. If I send you photos of my wife’s wardrobe, will you give me some pointers on her scarves and blouses? I’ve already examined the patterns on my neck ties, and I think I’m pretty safe.

I’m wondering: How do you approach women on the street who are wearing traditional Muslim clothing? Do you chastise them for practicing their religious requirements for apparel, accuse them of promoting terrorism because they dress differently?

Michelle, did you ever hear the urban legend about Procter and Gamble’s 100-year-old logo and how it promotes devil-worship? That was a good one. P&G spent a fortune dispelling that one.

Sorry, Rachel. Next time you make a commercial, consult with Ms. Malkin to make sure your wardrobe contains no hint of anything political. Of course, you’ll have to call her fairly often. What strikes Michelle as political changes frequently.

Next: Philadelphia, I promise.

 
 

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